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awake, but still tired

by deafpony

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1.
graduation 03:45
i’ve been writing messages but ignoring your replies so return my mind, take me home or anywhere else I can visualise soft glow through my fingertips relentless search for mistakes and I can only bare my soul late at night with all the time to contemplate it started moving beneath my feet and we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it dreams of neon skyline like an ache in my bones and it only took a second to completely lose the moment and it’s kind of funny how I’m in neck deep couldn’t be what I need welcome the stranger change what becomes history it started moving beneath my feet and we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it so I should leave without a trace around your palms you’re heavy in my arms (want to talk about it) it started moving beneath my feet and we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it so I should leave without a trace around your palms you’re heavy in my arms and now the water’s calm it’s heavy in my heart
2.
breathe 01:11
3.
don't worry 03:25
hold my head high while my bones lay the ground it’s the last time you’ll see me around let’s not waste another day help me find a better way it’s a vacant turn of phrase and inside my mind it’s not too late and maybe they say third time’s the charm give it a try where’s the harm? let’s not waste another day help me find a better way if you have nothing to say help me find my stolen days and I could tear this house down burn it all to the ground let’s not waste another day help me find a better way if you have nothing to say help me find my stolen days
4.
oh shit
5.
chasing threads back to where you were born i’m awake but I’m fraying at the edges pull me tight and peer through the seams i’m terrified of what I could be picking at the thoughts false perceptions of all my flaws stitching up my mind seal the cracks before I’m swallowed whole turpentine ease the scene help me wipe the slate clean finding comfort in empty spaces writing words just to fill the pages laid out on the ground a semblance of a broken creation right before you drown you’re screaming at your peripheral vision i’ll just keep on searching for a deeper meaning behind these thoughts and feelings entropy erase me static fills the mind with synapses collapsing and the figure in the mirror is a different person isolated in the noise within the imposition of these boundaries all around me craving validation feel the music take me touch the hands that made me i’ve never seen this side of me before i’ll just keep on searching for a deeper meaning behind these thoughts and feelings entropy erase me static fills the mind with synapses collapsing and the figure in the mirror is a different person isolated in the noise within the imposition of these boundaries all around me craving validation feel the music take me touch the hands that made me this must be my good side after all
6.
tattoos 03:39
let's waste our precious time hoping for one more surprise i wrote too many times: why? felt like I could have died and If it hadn't gone this way then you'd be holding me but I could wear you on my sleeve a box, a circle for all to see blood and bones I left behind optimistic frame of mind let's say goodbye goodbye bye it's far too late to hide and If it hadn't gone this way then you'd be holding me but I could wear you on my sleeve a box, a circle for all to see and If it hadn't gone this way then you'd be holding me but I could wear you on my sleeve locked in an image but now I'm free
7.
hold me close feel my cold something's falling hear the weather beat against the window pane steal the warmth after the heavy rains let the quiet go descending through the morning haze i’ll lie awake in the morning light never knowing always longing after dreams of a brighter day hear the thoughts thunder in my ears let the quiet go gentle hope for a better way and I could stand before you and I could take another guess and I could stare right past you but did it get so bad that now your dreams are slowing and I could tear right through you stop to take a peek inside but I won't wait here for you i just want to lie here and just waste my precious time (hoping for just another surprise) felt like staying inside but I couldn’t tell you why (felt like I could have died) and if it hadn’t gone this way then you’d be holding me (let's say goodbye, goodbye) one last spiteful line then you become absolved of the heart you cut out of me (bye)

credits

released June 10, 2022

Recorded by Scott Clarke and George Berry
Mixed by Scott Clarke
Mastered by Tom Joy
Original artwork by Charlotte Gray

www.instagram.com/scottclarkeproducer/
georgeberryproducer.com
www.thomasjoy.co.uk
www.instagram.com/grayglues/

deafpony are:
Scott Clarke
Mikey Tree
Steven Tree

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deafpony London, UK

we are deafpony and we're here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff

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